9 Ways People Mishear Authors

The author implies: “My characters are alive.” And people hear: “I have no friends. I no longer talk to real people. I don’t know what reality is anymore. I’m partially insane.”
The author says: “Ohh, you give me too much credit. Writing a book is actually not that hard. Go for that dream book you mentioned.”And people hear: “I’m so saturated with talent that I sneezed and my last trilogy happened. Of course, I know there’s actually no way that writing a book could be as easy as just putting your fingers down and just, ugh, writing.”
The author says: “My last book was poorly written.”And the author should go ahead and add: “I reserve the right to change my mind about this at a moment’s notice.”
The author says: “I write in coffee shops.” But he actually means: “I sit at Starbucks. I wait for characters to walk in. I add them to my books. Some might even live for a few pages.”
The author tells them: “I write speculative epic fantasy in a grimdark setting tuned for the fourth-turning.”The author actually tells them: I literally don’t write anything you could understand. Go ahead and pretend like I’m normal.
The author says: “I need to redraft my manuscript.” 😩 The author’s friends hear: “There’s virtually no limit to my awesomeness. I have to rewrite this so that my readers are up to date on my skills. If people read what I wrote two months ago, I would die of embarrassment!”
The author tells a non-author friend: “It’s only 87,000 words.” 🙂 Non-author civilian looks askance and hears: “I’m so prideful that I made you admit you couldn’t tell the difference between 500 and 1,000 words. Don’t I look smug right now?” 😏
The author interrupts either himself or other speaker: “Hold on—I just got an idea. What if…”Proper response from onlookers: Nod and say “Oh yeah?” every couple of moments until the author is satisfied that the idea is genius and will reach a worldwide audience upon execution. Then you can finish that sentence you started 10 minutes ago.
What the author says: “I’m not going to publish this book. I’m just writing it for myself.” What the author’s distant relations hear: “I am willingly turning down all of the billions I would make off of this book in order to pursue my self-discovery journey.” ✌️